Of darkness and candlelight

“Damn it”, I had to utter when I entered my apartment. I felt that as an involuntary reaction to the unexpected happenings around you. With me, when I just opened the door, the electricity was cut out. It was like all were planned to happen.

Just an hour or so ago, when I started from office, there wasn’t any rain on the way. Then, the invisible doors of clouds opened up as if awaiting my arrival on road. Gosh!!!! And those water sprinkles that prick your face like tiny lil knives through the opening of the helmet. Pity me, for I could not wear the shutter as I was wearing glasses. Tolerating all the prickling sensation, I rode through the traffic as if a poor soul’s future rested on my reaching the apartment. Alas!!! Someone had other plans, I guess. When I was waiting for the green signal behind a lorry (yema’s specially designed vehicle for India), there was a yell behind me, “sir, aapka tyre puncture hain”. “Ahhhhh”, this was me, surprised and turned back to see the soul who took interest to warn me. With a tone of appreciation I asked for the nearest mechanic shed and I wasn’t disappointed as it was just across the road after I go past the signal.

I did find the mechanic shed with some difficulty and handed over the bike to him for I was no expert in bike mechanism. I just knew to accelerate, switch gears and apply brakes. His two young apprentices helped him get the punctured tube out for repair. It took almost three-quarters of an hour for him to mend it. With the amended bouncing tyre, bumping me off my seat when potholes or speed-breakers appear, I took off again to my destination.

I would like to dramatize that this is the plight of you-know-what (I hate to say the word) professional when odds go against him.

Anyway, back in the apartment with darkness greeting me, my mind bent to think if this was a metaphor of sorts to the sulking life. I dried myself and I had a funny feeling in my stomach. I just felt the insides doing a somersault with some ‘grrr’ing noise…that’s the call for dinner, I imagined. To my relief, the rain was suspended for a while and I satisfied my appetite at a nearby place.

I lit a candle and laid a mattress beside, took one of my books and started reading amidst the eerie silence in the room; I could hear my own breath.

Candlelight!!! That could have been anyone’s plan for first date (no surprises, I guess). And there I was lying alone engrossed (not totally) in the book. Often, there were barks and meows I could hear from the neighbourhood and I was unsure as to what triggered them, perhaps they were irritated as I was with the constant raining against the window shades.

I was annoyed a bit coz the electricity cut meant I could not watch the first day’s play of the final India-England test rubber and all I would get was the lonely cricket’s chirping noises. Sometimes, I just looked at the flame of the candle as it would dance to the tune of the air that escaped into the house through the leanest possible exit on the door. My fingers ran past the flame and I brought my index finger and my thumb together towards it as if I was pinching the flame. Aahaa!! It neither hurt nor burnt and the thought that I could cut and pinch through the flame made me feel invulnerable to the fire.

Amidst such brief domestic adventures, I again sank into my book, hoping to hear the starting noise of the tubelight and the fan as I could not sleep without the latter’s noise at the background.

Slowly, my mind seemed to settle and ears opened wide to listen to all the sound that seemed to arise from the darkness outside. It was really sweet and rhythmic. It was like music to the ears and I could feel my heart dance to the tune but at the same time annoyed that it could not keep pace with the music. Occasionally, there was thundering applause from heavens for the symphony created by the tiny rain droplets. And maybe the gods laughed at some amusement below on earth as there were streaks of light drawn over the sky and for a moment, everything around seemed to be dark. There was no candlelight but utter darkness looming over me. I sensed myself touching my arms and face. I was still there but why couldn’t I look at anything. It was then that frightening thought hit me. Am I blind? Am I to lose sight forever? I pulled myself up and walked along hitting the mattress and kicking the book somewhere around the corner. Then, I realized that the sudden streak of light was nothing but lightning and it might have stripped me off my sight.

I wanted to cry but there was hope still left in me and I closed my eyes and sat wherever I was. Then, something bizarre happened; there was a yellowish white glow that tore apart something soft and blue, like the sun. I went totally still for I could hear someone chanting something. I shrunk my eyes and concentrated on what was that and it dawned on me. ‘OMMMMMMM!!’ …. this was constantly going in loop as if someone had recorded.

And a voice spoke, ‘child, it makes me really sad that you have lost your sight. But I should remind you that you had already lost it, for all you would look at was the material things. All your thoughts were on how to earn money and keep yourself sophisticated. When tired by mind and body, you looked for recreation that you went in search for and that you could enjoy with all the money you have got. And in all this, you failed to notice the joy and happiness I try to bring to you. What of the rain, the thunder, lightning, the mountains, rivers, lakes and the snow? What about the birds, animals and other living beings on earth? What about the oceans, trees and blue sky? Don’t they mean anything to you? Don’t they provide enjoyment and recreation to you? Don’t they provide you with peace and serenity? It is all for you and only you to fully enjoy the creation of nature. Please do me a favour and help yourself to the treat I give you’.

Saying this, the voice went blank and the glow disappeared. For a moment, everything again seemed to dissolve in darkness and suddenly, I woke up with a gasp of horror. I noticed that I was still lying on the mattress and the book and the candle were around the corner of the room.
Outside, the symphony and the applause continued, nothing changed and inside I knew everything would not be as same as it was for I realized I need to change.