This fine morning, I woke up with an odd feeling that I don’t need to go to work anymore. Then, I felt asking my-self ‘am I retired?’ and the answer was a firm ‘No’, for I have not been married yet (as if that’s a criteria for retirement) nor do I have any kids. I had to look at the mirror once to confirm that am old neither (it is amusing how your mind works when there is a sudden splash of curiosity). Not sure why the funny thought arose within me, but I was clearly no more interested to be heading off to work (for sure, I didn’t gulp liquor last night). I looked at my watch and it was just 6AM.
First thing I would want now is an ‘A one’ filter coffee, I thought. Then I realized I would have to walk a kilometer and a half if I have to taste one. With a huge sigh, I had to satisfy myself with a glass of cold water. I thought I had to get an answer for the question (or was that an intuition, ‘I don’t know’), hence I sat on the bed starting to recollect the funny thought that hit me during this early an hour.
An array of queries (like ‘are you bored at work?’, ‘missing home? ‘, ‘did a girl just say no to your proposal?’) dove deep inward and all were denied by the internal self. With the stirring noise of the fan at the backdrop, my thoughts wandered across various possibilities of my sudden resentment to work. Having tried to resolve this sudden wave of doubt in vain, I then unhappily got ready to attend office. My hopes of finding a good reason for ditching work were dithered.
On the way to the office, in the bus, with all unknown faces either dozing off by the rhythmic motion of the bus or hooked to their mini audio devices, my mind wondered if anyone else was as confused as I am. Having arrived at no conclusion yet, I pulled out my FM device (aah, that’s my mobile) in an attempt to evade from those gripping thoughts. The Rjockey played ‘jhoom barabar jhoom’ for which I was feeling my hips moving but minding the other guy next to me, I had to control my desire to shake my legs for the dance number. It was followed by ‘bring it on, bring it on’ and my legs were tapping involuntarily. ‘heyy babyy’, ‘crazy kiya re’…..and suddenly all these seemed to be left behind in to the obilivion and I saw myself sitting at my desk staring at the computer with a word document (to be precise, an artifact that explains the architecture of an application, as if I give a damn) in front of me and getting orders from my senior (for some reasons, I could not hear what he muttered) on what to do next. The next moment I am looking at myself reading a book, curious to know what am reading, I peeped into the book and it was blank; had nothing written on it. But I was reading with such deep intensity and I was taken aback. I felt a pinch over my shoulder and I was pulled backwards by some force and felt like floating now. There again, from above, I could see myself writing or drawing something. With the same curiosity as before, I peeped into the chart and found nothing. To my horror, my hand was at work on something invisible and though my grip suggested I was holding some instrument, I could see nothing between my fingers.
Before I could let out a shriek on what I was seeing, the force, that initially pulled me up, had me hung upside down and now with fright written all over my face, I was looking at me in a mirror. The reflection was pretending to hold something in its hand and mimicking as if it was playing a violin. But for reasons unknown, the face in the reflection was pale devoid of any colour. I realized the music from that instrument reached nowhere. Then the mirror impersonated itself to a jail and there was a figure trying to free itself from within. On shrinking my eyes to focus, I left a huge gasp having found it was me who’s behind the bars. But there was an odd difference to the figure, it was bright and beautiful (I am a normal person tanned naturally by the friendly climate in my country). I thought it (me, the figure behind the bar) had eyes that had the power to observe things and I was surprised to see a pen in his (my) hand. Beside him there was a book that had letters and meaning in it and a violin that was missing the previous avatar of mine (the reflection in the mirror).
Creeeeeeeeechhhhhhhh…I felt a hard pain surge through my forehead. I opened my eyes and wondered what I was doing in this bus. Just seconds ago, I hung (upside down) looking at my own reflection playing an instrument producing no music. Then it clicked me that it was all a dream and the truth was that I had to head to my cubicle to continue on my pending work. I had dozed off in the bus. Switching my FM device off, I walked past the security gate through to my cabin, to the place which made me aloof from the real world outside.
However, I did not have any doubt whatsoever on the intriguing thoughts that stuck me in the morning. I know that somehow I had the answers for my mind’s unexplainable action early this day. With a smile on my face, I started scripting this blog of mine which I was hoping to since ages.
Atleast, I have tried to satisfy one dream of my inner self and I know, the next time I dream, I wouldn’t see myself sketching anything invisible .
Note: This blog is dedicated to all those creative souls trapped within and eager to take on their rightful place in one’s self.
- Penned by
A trapped soul eagerly awaiting its release
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